Little Gestures

Last Thursday a couple of "little gestures" impacted me for different reasons...

1. While driving home from work I saw an older gentleman bundled up--coat, stocking hat, scarf, gloves, and all--making his way through the cold with a big ol' smile on his face. I haven't the faintest idea why he was smiling, but it was contagious.
2. During the Maundy Thursday service at my church a mom who was sitting two pew rows ahead of me shrugged her elementary aged son's head off of her shoulder after he had rested it there for a mere two seconds. I swear, he plopped his head into her shoulder gently and before he could even get comfortable she moved away from him. It made my heart a bit sad.

Little gestures--moments, sightings, contacts, greetings--can be sooo very big.

The Bad Lighting Epidemic in America Continues

This hideous and ginormous light fixture was joined by several others in a conference room at the Holiday Inn in Fargo, ND. Not only does it look like an excessively legged, gold spider hanging upside down from the ceiling, it also sheds a poor amount of light. Thom Filicia, Queer Eye interior design guru, would be horrified and disappointed.

Different strokes, for different folks and so on and so on...

At work the other day I was completing a lease with an incoming group of tenants. While they were starting various utility services in their name, I left my office to write out a receipt for their pro-rated rent. I forgot that I had left my cell phone on my desk with my ringer volume on...

"This is why I'm hot, this is why I'm hot! This is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot! I'm hot 'cuz I'm fly..."

Yup, those profound words rang loud and clear and sent me scurrying back into my office to grab my phone and silence Mims. What came out of my mouth next, I don't know why...

"It's a stupid ringtone."

One clever young man stated, "You can't spell 'crap' without it."

I left my office annoyed by his line and perplexed as to why I said what I said. Now that song is by no means legendary, but I do enjoy it when I'm "shaking a leg"--as my mom would say. So why, why did I say that? More than likely it's because the threesome (get your mind out of the gutter) were more so a "rocker" crowd. Punk, alternative, what have you. (I can't keep up with labels and I don't really care to, actually. They just distance us from one another.) Perhaps I wanted to be viewed as cool, or something of the likes... What is that?! Who cares what I rock out to?

I don't understand this obligation to edit myself to fit into some category. I don't know why I feel this need to explain myself to strangers. Deep down I don't care, but yet on the surface it escapes me... I try to find the common ground between myself and others in order to relate, but finding those threads that unite us doesn't mean I need to cut the loose strands where we differentiate. The differences don't divide us by any means. The differences tie us to more and more people and create a big, beautiful, diverse web. It's important for me to honor that web of people, to honor my true self...Mims lover and all.

Random Connections

While driving to an appointment one afternoon a couple of weeks ago I saw a familiar elderly lady walking her chubby ol' wiener dog down the avenue. I've seen the "couple" make their way along the same street a handful of times before and they always catch my attention for a number of reasons...

First of all, I grew up with dachshunds and therefore I take note of every wiener dog I see. Secondly, the dog is just sooo fat. He's round and hysterically cute. Seeing him instantly makes me laugh regardless of the mood of the day. And finally they look so happy trotting along together in the sunshine. (Well, the dog waddles. Truly he does. His belly nearly grazes the ground.) There's a visible love between the two that's rather compelling. You just know that they have been together for many, many years.

Normally when I drive by I'm just an outsider looking in on their walk, but that day... That day I drove by and seeing the two made me genuinely smile yet again. And that day the little, old woman happened to look up and caught me staring and smiling at them. She stood up just a bit straighter, smiled brightly, and warmly waved to me--welcoming me in to that moment of their walk, of their lives. That simple gesture, the smile and wave, made me smile wider and more deeply. There was a brief, sincere, and friendly connection between us that I took with me. A gift from one stranger to another.

I keep that gift in my heart. To some, it would mean nothing. But to me...

We all need more random connections--no matter how short or small. The world would be in a better state of being and we would all be happier. So smile and wave, people, you could very easily make a stranger's day.

Focus

I am trying to focus on love and peace and hope and progress. This day to day life I lead can be so uneventful, so frustrating, so nothing, so repetitive. It's easy to succumb to the 8:00 to 5:00 work schedule--to work, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat. It's easy to become consumed by anger regarding the stupidest things and to fall into a person I don't necessarily want to be. I mean, it's not that I become this horrible person. That's not the case. But there are moments where anger swells within me. Times where I don't care. Days where I'm not productive in pursuing a greater life.

I need to shift to the good. Need to keep my head up, my heart open. I don't want all of this "noise" to get the best of me, to fill my head and take me over. It's important to shed all that weighs me down. To shake off the negative. To wash off daily the dirt of yesterday.

Each day is clean. A new beginning, an opportunity for rebirth, a chance to make some small difference in my life and in the lives of those around me. So I ask God to help me focus, to help me be present in place and time, and to work steadily with peace in my heart.

Love and peace. Peace and love.