Grown Ups and Crazy Dreams

It's been far too long since I've spilled... My friend, Kendra, brought it to my attention that I needed a new post and she was right! So here I am again and hopefully I'll be here more regularly. I love to write, to ponder, to open so I don't know why I haven't done this more. Hmm...

Perhaps it's this thing called work. Have you heard of it? It's this thing that grown ups do...a lot. It generally occurs every weekday from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. and when one has finished with work one tends to go home and reboot, only to do the same thing the following day. See, a grown up needs to work because grown ups have bills to pay and by working a grown up can earn the money necessary to pay said bills. However, there is a cost for working and that cost is the loss of life... One most work to live, but when one works one has no time to live. Or so it seems for this grown up.

Holy shit. I'm a grown up. When did that happen?!

In other news... I had some crazy dreams last night, as I usually do. One dream was more like a story that I was following, a movie I was watching. Or maybe I was in it too... Can't quite recall. But what I do remember is that there was some young people making their way through a snowy and cold wilderness. They were dressed in every day clothes and were not equipped for their environment, save for one individual who had a knife and this little bag slung across his or her body...or was it my body... Cripes, I wish I could remember clearly. Anywho, this bag was remarkable because whatever these youngins' needed in their adventures they could pull out of the little shoulder strap bag. They didn't have to ask for the tool, the bag just provided what was needed. I thought this was cool because the tools given weren't necessarily what they thought they would need. Sometimes they thought they needed more than what the bag spit out. Sometimes they thought they needed different tools. But the bag knew better. I wish I had a bag like that...

Well then, I'll leave it at that. Just a random post from yours truly to start off 2009 (twenty-three days late). I'll be back in touch because there is more to share... Until then, have a lovely day...every day.

Why Not Minot?!

Dear Blog World,

So it's been a while since my last post and I have much to share...

After freaking out over the possibility of returning to my hometown in North Dakota I was presented with an opportunity that I could not refuse. Truly, I would be dumb if I did. I made the rational decision to commit to working as a Rental Agent for a year in Minot. I think it will be an excellent opportunity to gain valuable work experience and I'm looking forward to having a steady source of income. I started work a week and a half ago and am enjoying what I am doing. Pretty much, I am to showing houses and apartments what Vanna White is to turning letters.

Another plus for moving home is that my parents are fixing up a little Craftsman house that I will be able to inhabit for the year. Rent will be incredibly reasonable and it is going to be so much fun decorating my first place. The house is charming and has great character. I'm super stoked that I will have an office with old French doors and an art studio with big windows. I'm feeling very inspired to write, paint, and draw... I can't wait to get into my hizzouse!

Returning to the NoDak will also be beneficial in giving me time to evaluate where I am in my life and where I want to be. Once I get settled into a bit of a routine I can really focus on if I want to return to school and if so, pursue that whole-heartedly. I think that this is the perfect opportunity to reflect on and examine my passions, strengths, weaknesses, and dreams. I'm really trying to embrace my time spent here in Minot and grow as a person in every way I can.

Anywho... I'm a bit scatterbrained at the moment, so I will conclude here. The Giants are playing the Cowboys and I'm trying to pay attention to the game... Go Giants!

Many laughs and much love,
Annie

I have a dream...?

People often say to believe in your dreams. But then when you share your dream you’re told, “Well that’s unrealistic.”

Excuse me for the lack of better words here… Umm, duh. It’s a dream.

Dreams are supposed to be unrealistic and seemingly unattainable. That’s the beauty of it. That’s the magic. And that’s what makes dreams work. That sense of impossibility is precisely what motivates the dreamer to do what people so foolishly declare cannot be done.

Dreams are your heart’s desires and if you feed those desires there is a satisfaction that cannot be adequately articulated other than to say that there is a sincere feeling of a roaring peace. It’s something of an oxymoron. I guess this feeling is present because the process of attaining a dream brings focus to your life and purpose.

Purpose, meaning to intend. Living life intentionally. Purpose.

The antonym of “purpose” is “indifference,” showing neither interest nor dislike. So to me that means that a life lived without a dream or dreams is a life lived indifferently and that essentially means that you’re not living, but merely existing.

And sadly, that’s me. I do not know what it is I dream of and what it is that my heart desires, what it is yearning for and since I cannot feed it, my heart aches. It’s starving and, currently, I’m wasting away.

When I graduated this past May a General in the United States Air Force delivered a brief, but poignant commencement address. One particular quote stood out to me. He said, “If you don’t dream, you can’t have a dream come true.” At the time I thought I knew me and I thought I knew my dreams. But now not only am I confused, I’m doubtful and I’m becoming one of those fools—one of those people who are dubious of what can be done.

Why? Why can I not will myself to believe and to see the future? Why?

Only I can answer that question and that seriously scares me.

If I won the lottery I would...

• Spoil my family.
• Treat my friends to a trip.
• Pay off all of my bills.
• Put money away.
• Pay it forward by donating to a variety of worthy causes and people.
• Move to New York in a heartbeat, or in a "New York Minute," and furnish my new home.
• Adopt a wiener dog and name her Wonder.
• Adopt a French Mastiff and name him Hammy.
• Buy a fully loaded, state of the art Mac Book.
• Buy a digital camera and a digital camcorder.
• Stock my fridge with the following beverages: Naked Juice, Fuji bottled water, pulpy orange juice, Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper (a.k.a. DCVDP), and Spicy Hot V8 Juice.

Icebreaker

Hello there! I'm Annie. Pleased to meet you. I hail from the "Magic City."

Oh, sorry... You don't know where that is? Okay, okay. Well, I'm from Minot, North Dakota. "Why Not Minot," if you will.

Still don't know? Okay, um...

Yeah, Minot is the fourth largest city in the great state of North Dakota and is located north of our state capitol...

What's that? Bismarck, yes, Bismarck is the capitol of NoDak. Anyway, back to Minot...

Minot is also located to the west of the Geographic Center of the United States, which before you ask, is Rugby. And of course, North Dakota itself is north of South Dakota. Hey, don't give me a hard time about that either because no one makes fun of North and South Carolina and it's pretty much the same thing. Pff.

ANYWAY...

Minot is the home of the Magi, Josh Duhamel, the North Dakota State Fair, the Great Anhydrous Ammonia Spill of 2002, North America's largest Scandinavian festival (the Norsk Hostfest), and me.

I know what you're thinking... Yes, it's basically the shiznit.

But Minot is behind me now because I live in an even smaller town north of St. Paul, Minnesota. I like to call it The Boondocks. I came to Minnesota because I graduated from the University of North Dakota in May of 2006 and after a few months living with the parents it was time for me to become an adult and I had no where else to go. The only problem is... I'm still working on that adult thing. "Working" being a sort of ironic choice of word because I'm not working. Ha!

No, it's really not that funny. Not funny at all. I shouldn't laugh. It was a nervous laugh, but I shouldn't laugh because I need a job. Or as my brother puts it, a J-O-B.

Congratulations to him, by the way, for his superior spelling skills. Really, give him a round of applause.

But yeah, I'm a Job Hunter and I've got the camouflage and neon orange gear to prove it. Well, that's a lie; it's a joke. Ha ha. Anyway, since I'm jobless I prefer to call myself a Dreamer. Yup, it's my official non-official job title until I'm adult enough to earn a job title.

So until then, you can call me Annie. Annie, the funny girl from North Dakota who is a dreamer. That's me in a nut shell. Not an actual nut shell, but...

Oh, you get it.