This is absolutely delightful and inspiring: The Beckoning of Lovely.
Showing posts with label Purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Purpose. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Why Not Minot?!
Dear Blog World,
So it's been a while since my last post and I have much to share...
After freaking out over the possibility of returning to my hometown in North Dakota I was presented with an opportunity that I could not refuse. Truly, I would be dumb if I did. I made the rational decision to commit to working as a Rental Agent for a year in Minot. I think it will be an excellent opportunity to gain valuable work experience and I'm looking forward to having a steady source of income. I started work a week and a half ago and am enjoying what I am doing. Pretty much, I am to showing houses and apartments what Vanna White is to turning letters.
Another plus for moving home is that my parents are fixing up a little Craftsman house that I will be able to inhabit for the year. Rent will be incredibly reasonable and it is going to be so much fun decorating my first place. The house is charming and has great character. I'm super stoked that I will have an office with old French doors and an art studio with big windows. I'm feeling very inspired to write, paint, and draw... I can't wait to get into my hizzouse!
Returning to the NoDak will also be beneficial in giving me time to evaluate where I am in my life and where I want to be. Once I get settled into a bit of a routine I can really focus on if I want to return to school and if so, pursue that whole-heartedly. I think that this is the perfect opportunity to reflect on and examine my passions, strengths, weaknesses, and dreams. I'm really trying to embrace my time spent here in Minot and grow as a person in every way I can.
Anywho... I'm a bit scatterbrained at the moment, so I will conclude here. The Giants are playing the Cowboys and I'm trying to pay attention to the game... Go Giants!
Many laughs and much love,
Annie
So it's been a while since my last post and I have much to share...
After freaking out over the possibility of returning to my hometown in North Dakota I was presented with an opportunity that I could not refuse. Truly, I would be dumb if I did. I made the rational decision to commit to working as a Rental Agent for a year in Minot. I think it will be an excellent opportunity to gain valuable work experience and I'm looking forward to having a steady source of income. I started work a week and a half ago and am enjoying what I am doing. Pretty much, I am to showing houses and apartments what Vanna White is to turning letters.
Another plus for moving home is that my parents are fixing up a little Craftsman house that I will be able to inhabit for the year. Rent will be incredibly reasonable and it is going to be so much fun decorating my first place. The house is charming and has great character. I'm super stoked that I will have an office with old French doors and an art studio with big windows. I'm feeling very inspired to write, paint, and draw... I can't wait to get into my hizzouse!
Returning to the NoDak will also be beneficial in giving me time to evaluate where I am in my life and where I want to be. Once I get settled into a bit of a routine I can really focus on if I want to return to school and if so, pursue that whole-heartedly. I think that this is the perfect opportunity to reflect on and examine my passions, strengths, weaknesses, and dreams. I'm really trying to embrace my time spent here in Minot and grow as a person in every way I can.
Anywho... I'm a bit scatterbrained at the moment, so I will conclude here. The Giants are playing the Cowboys and I'm trying to pay attention to the game... Go Giants!
Many laughs and much love,
Annie
Sunday, August 19, 2007
I like today...
Today was not extraordinary, though there were moments that were out of the ordinary. All and all this day was average, but splendidly so. Here's why...
When I entered my bedroom I was greeted by the smell of peanut butter and jelly. I don't know why it smelled of a PB&J sandwich, but it did. It was random, but I liked it.
There was a grasshopper hanging out on my living room window, high above his world. I am unsure if he was clinging to the spot, or just enjoying the view. Regardless, he's been there for two days and I appreciate that he chose to visit my window and bare his belly to me. I wonder if he will be there tomorrow... If so, I think I'll have to name him.
I enjoyed a lovely conversation with a dear friend. It was so nice to chat with someone who "gets me." She shared great insight into my current complexes and provided a fresh perspective about a matter that has troubled me. We shared laughs and made promises to each other to cultivate bravery in our respective lives. Her wisdom made me happy.
Finally I will mention that today was dark and rainy, but it was a nice break from the August heat providing a welcomed glimpse into the fall. I wore my favorite sweat pants, enjoyed a cup of tea, and sunk into all things cozy. It was great, truly great.
This day was usual, but what was unusual was my gratitude for the usual. I need to give thanks more often. It brings a calmness into my heart and gives life to a deep, yet simple peace.
When I entered my bedroom I was greeted by the smell of peanut butter and jelly. I don't know why it smelled of a PB&J sandwich, but it did. It was random, but I liked it.
There was a grasshopper hanging out on my living room window, high above his world. I am unsure if he was clinging to the spot, or just enjoying the view. Regardless, he's been there for two days and I appreciate that he chose to visit my window and bare his belly to me. I wonder if he will be there tomorrow... If so, I think I'll have to name him.
I enjoyed a lovely conversation with a dear friend. It was so nice to chat with someone who "gets me." She shared great insight into my current complexes and provided a fresh perspective about a matter that has troubled me. We shared laughs and made promises to each other to cultivate bravery in our respective lives. Her wisdom made me happy.
Finally I will mention that today was dark and rainy, but it was a nice break from the August heat providing a welcomed glimpse into the fall. I wore my favorite sweat pants, enjoyed a cup of tea, and sunk into all things cozy. It was great, truly great.
This day was usual, but what was unusual was my gratitude for the usual. I need to give thanks more often. It brings a calmness into my heart and gives life to a deep, yet simple peace.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Purpose.com
One uneventful evening I took a tour of my favorite internet destinations. After visiting my email account, Facebook, Mariska.com, and so on I decided to type random words followed by a "dot com." For example, I punched in "holla.com."
Finally I thought, "Hmm... What about purpose.com?" And so I ventured to my online purpose only to find a roadblock similar to the one I face in reality...
When purpose.com loaded I was brought to an almost entirely blank white page. A message written in simple capital letters stated: ACCESS FORBIDDEN. And below that foreboding statement purpose.com declared, "Access denied. Please click on the back button to return to the former page."
I had to laugh because I felt that it was ironic. I know it doesn't mean anything unless I give it meaning, but seriously... If I'm struggling to understand my purpose in life can I just please find a virtual purpose?
Finally I thought, "Hmm... What about purpose.com?" And so I ventured to my online purpose only to find a roadblock similar to the one I face in reality...
When purpose.com loaded I was brought to an almost entirely blank white page. A message written in simple capital letters stated: ACCESS FORBIDDEN. And below that foreboding statement purpose.com declared, "Access denied. Please click on the back button to return to the former page."
I had to laugh because I felt that it was ironic. I know it doesn't mean anything unless I give it meaning, but seriously... If I'm struggling to understand my purpose in life can I just please find a virtual purpose?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Peace Overflows in the Tub
I took a bath yesterday evening for the first time since I don't know when. Please don't be mistaken, I do shower daily, but a bath is a rare occasion. Anyway...
I was surrounded by everything calming: warm water, bubbles, the soft glow of candlelight, poetry. I was serenaded by sweet music, as well as by the steady rhythm of Butkus breathing, who was sleeping by the side of the tub thankful that he did not have to take a bath. The big boy is not a fan of water unless it is in his water bowl.
The experience of the bath was ever so peaceful and for that moment in time my life was perfect. (It is in the little and often unnoticed things where perfection resides.) I was where I was meant to be right there and then.
Instead of feeling lost in this world, I was lost in the eloquent language of poetry...
But surely death must possess that one tiny,
Intricate light created by the small certainty
Of its own name. And, darling, I know this too,
That in the moment that death comes to cover you,
Lying down carefully over your body, fitting itself
So well, forming belly to belly, matching
Its spreading fingers exactly to your open hands,
Finding its own thighs and its heart and its motion
By finding yours, in that moment, just like a flame
Catching hold suddenly in the center of a lantern
And rising then to fill the dark void of the forest
With its place, death will have no choice,
Must be transformed, illuminated, filled to its farthest
Boundaries by all the glorious sins and virtues
Of your real and radiant grace.
-Excerpt from "The Light Inside of Death" by Pattiann Rogers in her book of poetry entitled Splitting and Binding
Instead of feeling lost in this world, I felt found in ideas. I was stripped of my worries, fears, doubts, and insecurities. All of the "noes" slipped away the moment I slipped under the still water. I was blanketed in serenity, hope, joy, and truth. I was exposed and I was me. I was real. Yes.
I prayed to God that the peace would settle in my soul and linger. That everything that has been holding me back from pursuing peace daily, would wash away like the dirt from my body. I prayed to come to know Him better and through knowing Him, that I would come to know myself even better and realize His dream for my life and fulfill it. I prayed to live and I mean really, truly live.
I was surrounded by everything calming: warm water, bubbles, the soft glow of candlelight, poetry. I was serenaded by sweet music, as well as by the steady rhythm of Butkus breathing, who was sleeping by the side of the tub thankful that he did not have to take a bath. The big boy is not a fan of water unless it is in his water bowl.
The experience of the bath was ever so peaceful and for that moment in time my life was perfect. (It is in the little and often unnoticed things where perfection resides.) I was where I was meant to be right there and then.
Instead of feeling lost in this world, I was lost in the eloquent language of poetry...
But surely death must possess that one tiny,
Intricate light created by the small certainty
Of its own name. And, darling, I know this too,
That in the moment that death comes to cover you,
Lying down carefully over your body, fitting itself
So well, forming belly to belly, matching
Its spreading fingers exactly to your open hands,
Finding its own thighs and its heart and its motion
By finding yours, in that moment, just like a flame
Catching hold suddenly in the center of a lantern
And rising then to fill the dark void of the forest
With its place, death will have no choice,
Must be transformed, illuminated, filled to its farthest
Boundaries by all the glorious sins and virtues
Of your real and radiant grace.
-Excerpt from "The Light Inside of Death" by Pattiann Rogers in her book of poetry entitled Splitting and Binding
Instead of feeling lost in this world, I felt found in ideas. I was stripped of my worries, fears, doubts, and insecurities. All of the "noes" slipped away the moment I slipped under the still water. I was blanketed in serenity, hope, joy, and truth. I was exposed and I was me. I was real. Yes.
I prayed to God that the peace would settle in my soul and linger. That everything that has been holding me back from pursuing peace daily, would wash away like the dirt from my body. I prayed to come to know Him better and through knowing Him, that I would come to know myself even better and realize His dream for my life and fulfill it. I prayed to live and I mean really, truly live.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
I have a dream...?
People often say to believe in your dreams. But then when you share your dream you’re told, “Well that’s unrealistic.”
Excuse me for the lack of better words here… Umm, duh. It’s a dream.
Dreams are supposed to be unrealistic and seemingly unattainable. That’s the beauty of it. That’s the magic. And that’s what makes dreams work. That sense of impossibility is precisely what motivates the dreamer to do what people so foolishly declare cannot be done.
Dreams are your heart’s desires and if you feed those desires there is a satisfaction that cannot be adequately articulated other than to say that there is a sincere feeling of a roaring peace. It’s something of an oxymoron. I guess this feeling is present because the process of attaining a dream brings focus to your life and purpose.
Purpose, meaning to intend. Living life intentionally. Purpose.
The antonym of “purpose” is “indifference,” showing neither interest nor dislike. So to me that means that a life lived without a dream or dreams is a life lived indifferently and that essentially means that you’re not living, but merely existing.
And sadly, that’s me. I do not know what it is I dream of and what it is that my heart desires, what it is yearning for and since I cannot feed it, my heart aches. It’s starving and, currently, I’m wasting away.
When I graduated this past May a General in the United States Air Force delivered a brief, but poignant commencement address. One particular quote stood out to me. He said, “If you don’t dream, you can’t have a dream come true.” At the time I thought I knew me and I thought I knew my dreams. But now not only am I confused, I’m doubtful and I’m becoming one of those fools—one of those people who are dubious of what can be done.
Why? Why can I not will myself to believe and to see the future? Why?
Only I can answer that question and that seriously scares me.
Excuse me for the lack of better words here… Umm, duh. It’s a dream.
Dreams are supposed to be unrealistic and seemingly unattainable. That’s the beauty of it. That’s the magic. And that’s what makes dreams work. That sense of impossibility is precisely what motivates the dreamer to do what people so foolishly declare cannot be done.
Dreams are your heart’s desires and if you feed those desires there is a satisfaction that cannot be adequately articulated other than to say that there is a sincere feeling of a roaring peace. It’s something of an oxymoron. I guess this feeling is present because the process of attaining a dream brings focus to your life and purpose.
Purpose, meaning to intend. Living life intentionally. Purpose.
The antonym of “purpose” is “indifference,” showing neither interest nor dislike. So to me that means that a life lived without a dream or dreams is a life lived indifferently and that essentially means that you’re not living, but merely existing.
And sadly, that’s me. I do not know what it is I dream of and what it is that my heart desires, what it is yearning for and since I cannot feed it, my heart aches. It’s starving and, currently, I’m wasting away.
When I graduated this past May a General in the United States Air Force delivered a brief, but poignant commencement address. One particular quote stood out to me. He said, “If you don’t dream, you can’t have a dream come true.” At the time I thought I knew me and I thought I knew my dreams. But now not only am I confused, I’m doubtful and I’m becoming one of those fools—one of those people who are dubious of what can be done.
Why? Why can I not will myself to believe and to see the future? Why?
Only I can answer that question and that seriously scares me.
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